This industry can be wild. Long days and nights, people calling out leaving you short for the day, putting out fires (sometimes literally), guests upset when things go wrong… that list of why-nots can get long, fast. Still, the pay for management is respectable, and even more so if you pursue multi-unit management or executive leadership. There are also generally great benefits, especially for corporate restaurants who aim to retain veteran managers tenured in a long-term position to maintain consistency in their operations.
But none of that is enough if you don’t have an authentic WHY to motivate you into restaurant management and to keep you wanting to be there. The burnout rate in this industry is between 47-70% according to Food & Wine.com, varying by position. People left restaurant leadership roles in droves after COVID hit, with more than one past coworker of mine noting that it offered them the perfect chance to “finally get out.” A sentiment I can empathize with, but can’t fully get behind, because I have found my entire career to be fulfilling in many ways.
It starts with your values, so if you aren’t clear on your values this would be a great time to get very thoughtful and identify them. I’m a big fan of Brené Brown’s work on leadership so Dare to Lead is the first recommendation I make to any new clients I take in for coaching (and friends). One of the first tasks in the book is to clarify your values, but unlike how a company chooses 4-5 values, you’re given the requirement of choosing just one or two. This helps you get very specific about what is most important to you, which helps you determine your “why.” Why do you want to be a restaurant manager? Why do you want to go back to school? Why do you want to be a millionaire (that’s a fun one, I recommend you go down that path every so often to visualize what you really want in life).
Here’s how this goes down for me: I was 21 when I was asked to be a manager. I stayed on that path for 6 years before I had my first kiddo and determined I’d prefer to have the flexibility of being a server while she was little, so I stepped down. I continued serving for 12 years before 2020 hit and I found myself a stay-at-home-mom to 3 during a global shutdown. I was listening to Dare to Lead on audiobook one day when this bit hit me:
I want to live in a world with bolder, braver leaders. I define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential. From corporations, non-profits, and public sector organizations to governments, activist groups, schools, and faith communities, we desperately need more leaders who are committed to courageous, wholehearted leadership and who are self-aware enough to lead from their hearts rather that unevolved leaders who lead from hurt and fear. (Brown, 2018)
Hit. Me. Like. A. Train. I stopped what I was doing to replay that quote until I could capture it all in my notes app. The part about wanting “to live in a world with bolder, braver leaders,” especially in a volatile time and having my kids’ futures to worry about, that was it. I took some time to consider exactly what it was I thought was important about that and how I could do my part. I decided to go back to school to concentrate on HR Management and focus on Training and Development. I knew I loved training people, and I thought this would be a way to reach people who were on career paths heading toward leadership and have a positive impact.
Little did I know, shortly after I would find such a role in a growing local restaurant company, so I’d get to merge my dreams of helping new leaders in the industry I’d spent my entire career in. I saw so many people from different walks of life moving into leadership roles, and I was so grateful to be the one to guide them on setting and achieving their goals. I’ve had the opportunity to support people learning management skills and I’ve been able to increase their understanding of what makes great leadership over basic management skills.
At some moment in time, I realized one of the most important things to me was making sure that the jobs we offered our team was fulfilling in whatever way they needed it to be. I wanted servers to make money but have the scheduling flexibility they enjoy, I wanted baristas to get creative with their recipes and latte art, and I wanted our after-school kids in the kitchen to have a good time at work and be able to learn skills for their next endeavors. I accept and embrace that not everyone wants to be trainers, supervisors, or managers, and I want people to enjoy the time they do spend with us as much as I enjoy getting to work with so many different personalities. When I realized this, it became easier to coach managers on how to lead by finding their own purpose. It also became easier to find the right questions to determine if someone really wants to become a manager or if they’re just pursuing that path because they believe it’s the next step they’re “supposed” to take.
If you’re inspired at all by the idea of finding the fun and challenge of each day in your restaurant, carving a solid community for your staff to proudly call their workplace, or dedicating your creativity to establishing how to provide exceptional service and experiences to your guests… you may be part of this wild club. I’ll tell you what, though, I have met some of the most innovative, resourceful, fiercely caring people in restaurant managers, so welcome to the pack.
Jess is the creator of Before the Floor Systems, a growing compilation of tools and systems to help restaurant managers achieve successful, fulfilling careers. Please see my Employee Development Program in my shop for a comprehensive, easy-to-follow plan to help you guide your brightest stars into leadership or to initiate on your own if you're pursuing this path.
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