This post is for the "Rising Stars" as I like to call them, or those of you who are considering moving into leadership for the first time or who have been recently selected to be promoted. Although, Managers or Directors with Rising Stars under them will also benefit as you're charged with developing these impressive people into capable and confident leaders with the right skills and knowledge.
Restaurant or frontline leadership isn’t for the faint of heart. It's a big commitment with long hours, high levels of responsibility especially to your staff, demanding expectations to deliver great service but not compromise on the budget, and so on. I personally thrive on those challenges, and people outside the industry (or those who have left) never understand why. I love working in restaurants, even after 30 years I still get a thrill from the demand of a busy shift or figuring out new operations issues.
When people press me on this, they usually try to find some logical reason I could possibly enjoy this work.
"Oh, do you just love to cook?" No. I'm not a chef by any stretch (ask my kids).
"You love customer service, then?" Not particularly... well, yes actually, I do... but not enough to call me to the table for 30 years.
No, for me it's a little different but I'll share my story in the hope it helps some of you find clarity to determine if pursuing the path of leadership is right for you.
I'm a Brené Brown nerd, if you haven't read any of her books or seen her Ted Talks, I highly recommend searching that up (I'd start with Dare to Lead if you're pursuing leadership, it's a great read). When I listened to Dare to Lead on audiobook, I hit a line that made me actually stop cleaning my kitchen and go grab a notebook to capture it. She said, "I want to live in a world with bolder, braver leaders. I define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential."
At the time, I had been planning to go back to school for HR Management. I was considering giving up the restaurant life for something that I assumed I "should" do so that I could have a 9-5 job, be home for my kids every night, and have a less stigmatized career that would bring more respectful comments than when I told people I was still in restaurants. That line changed my whole view.
I thought about that line all day, and it worked on me until I realized why: restaurants don't always have leaders who are dedicated to finding potential and developing it, they usually have managers who are busting their butts to cut labor and food cost and drive sales. The same managers who will brag about promoting X amount of employees but haven't spent any time teaching them leadership skills because they don't possess them themselves. Managers like that prevailed in the first 10-15 years of my career, and sadly I still know too many. They're always the tough guy who have no vulnerability or heart to their leadership, and the number of people that move up under them is just dumb luck, because these managers have zero courage or even ability to actively develop anyone.
I realized I could benefit people around me far more with a new mindset. I was no longer going to focus on the numbers first, but the people. I got very clear on my values, and identified service and growth as the values that will always call me to action. As much as I love serving people as in serving our guests, the real value to me in my career was serving my people and helping them grow, and that in turn can deliver the numbers.
This may not be an Earth-shattering revelation to everyone, some of you may already be clear on the reason you're interested in leadership and that's amazing, you're ahead of the game. There are plenty of people who are waffling on the decision, trying to decide if going into a management position is the right choice for them, and to that I'd say "find your why."
First, do the values exercise where you determine your 1-2 values that call you to action. You can find a list of values to shop and help find what speaks to you here on the Dare to Lead website.
Just being clear on your values alone may help you find direction, but go another step and do the "7 whys" activity. The "7 whys" starts out with you listing your goal (in this case, you'd say it's to become a restaurant manager), then you ask "why do you want to become a restaurant manager?" If the answer is, "because I want to make a more consistent paycheck," the next why is "why do you want a more consistent paycheck?" This activity goes on for 7 layers of "whys" until you have a clear picture of what you want in life. Seeing yourself serve others (guests, employees, community), enjoying the challenge of driving financial success, building and continually improving on systems and problem-solving - those are aspirations that would line up well with frontline leadership. If you finish the activity and have clear conflict with what a management position would bring to your life, it may help you decide this isn't the direction for you.
These are both just exercises to help you commit to a direction. When I was first asked if I'd like to be a manager, I was 21 years old and my reason for saying "yes" was very different than my reasons now. I was intrigued by the challenge of improving operations and being a more successful team than other stores in the area (my first gig was a corporate restaurant). Then I burnt out from that and found my reason was more about serving my team and their potential. Neither of those reasons are wrong, just different, and they're likely to be different from yours.
I hope this is helpful for anyone on the fence about this path, and that you can gain some clarity with the values and 7 whys exercises. If you choose to move forward with a career in this industry, at times when things get hard (and they will) it will be easier to press on because you'll remember why you're there.
Leadership in this industry isn’t just about running the shift or hitting your numbers. It’s about showing up for people, building something into more than what you started with, and growing right alongside your team.
And if that’s something that excites you, or makes you feel some type of way... you’re probably in the right place.
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